Miss Nicole, The Ultimate Muffia Mom

Friday, February 17, 2006

Miss Nicole Plain and Simple

Hello Hello! I am Miss Nicole,,,The Ultimate Muffia Mom!!
What is a "Muffia Mom"?
I found this definiton for ya:
"MUFFIA moms are those perfect mothers that look like they are going on a fashion runway when they come to pick up the kids from school. They are always perfectly dressed, they bake complicated desserts for all school functions and they look down their noses at any mom that does not fall in line with their cookie cutter lifestyle."
Obviously the person who wrote this, has met me.
Or at least seen me!
I dont neccesarily like the name but the definition is dead on.
I WILL NOT leave the house without
1.Full makeup down too shiny lip glos....hello Dior....
2. Nails done.YIKES, I see so many chipped manis out there its an epidemic.
3.Matching outfit.That means belt too people.
4. Hair done, styled sprayed set.
I WILL NOT
1.Wear sweats (shudders)
UGH I HAAAAAAAAAAAATE SWEAT PANTS!!!!!
Track pants I can deal with.If theyre cute.Sometimes.But you hafta wear the jacket too...no mismatching, ruins it.
2.Wear slippers in public.WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!! I saw a woman out this weekend wearing slippers in a store.WTF!! Are we now too lazy too tie shoes????
Thats just wrong.
3.Have black roots.It takes what less than an hour too dye your roots.I have seen people with 6 inch black roots, with like platnum blond hair.
That should be illegal.
I'm sorry but I just think that people are TOO DAMM LAZY.
I am so tired of the whole "Its not my fault Im fat" mentality.
No hun its not your fault.Someone else shoveled Hostess Twinkies in your mouth.
Gimme a break.
I dont wanna hear the its so hard too lose weight BS, I did it.
I weighed around 265 after a difficult total bed rest pregnancy.
I now weigh 130.
Im 5'9
Youre telling me, that I with 2 kids can drop 135lbs but you cant lose 50?
Shuddup.
Put the cookie down!!
I see all this garbage at the school waiting for my oldest.
I looked testurday,7 moms standing waiting for kids.
Only another woman and I were thin. The other 5 fat.
SO 5 outta 7 moms there are overweight.
Nice stats huh.
ARGH
Oh well, Im off too visit Bryanboy's site....loves it.